For Taste AND Effect

Or is it affect? Oh, hell, who knows?

Newsweek has an interesting article on drinking and hangovers. The bottomline is science can't fully explain the hangover. Is that true? Man can go to the moon and harness nuclear energy, but we can't quite figure why we aren't in tip-top shape the morning after poisoning our bodies?!? I've cut out the most interesting bits from the article.

While hangovers have plagued revelers since early hominids kicked back with some date-palm wine, science still doesn't have a good understanding of how your I-love-everybody yuletide cheer turns into such a biological bah-humbug.

The misery begins when blood alcohol levels start to fall. Some experts to believe the hangover is a "kind of mini withdrawal," says Robert Swift, professor of psychiatry and human behavior at Brown University. Because alcohol is a sedative, your body reacts by releasing various neurochemicals to stimulate the brain. These chemicals cause a rapid pulse, nausea, tremors and light and sound sensitivity.

...Which leads to another theory that puts the blame for the hangover on pure physiology. Alcohol is first broken down in the liver into a toxic substance called acetaldehyde. Acetaldehyde is then further broken down into a harmless substance called acetate. At high doses, acetaldehyde causes nausea, vomiting, sweating and other symptoms akin to the hangover.

Congeners, by-products of the distillation and fermentation process, may also play a role in making holiday partiers miserable. Darker-colored liquors such as brandies, bourbon and red wine contain more congeners than lighter colored alcoholic beverages like gin or vodka.

Since alcohol is a diuretic, you'll wake up dehydrated. That dehydration explains some of the symptoms such as headaches and a dry mouth. Alcohol also plays havoc with the body's biorhythms, disturbing sleep patterns, despite it being a sedative.

Oddly, "some people can get a hangover from one or two drinks," Swift says. "And it's usually the moderate or light social drinker who suffers the most." At particular risk, though, are women. Researchers at the University of Missouri, Columbia, found that women experience worse hangovers than men, despite the amount of alcohol consumed.

There are also potential health issues that can be precipitated by a binge--acute pancreatitis, a painful and potentially life-threatening inflammation of the pancreas, or even "holiday heart syndrome," an irregular heart rhythm found in heart-healthy folks who have overindulged. "There's nothing funny, nothing good, about binging," Brewer says.

A couple thoughts:

1. I feel like I could have told you most of this by spring of my freshman year.
2. The article suggests anything over five drinks is a binge. A five-pack?!?! That's ridiculous...they only come in six. Which, of course, is because dolphins swim in pods of six.
3. And a hangover is a "kind of mini withdrawl"...remind me not to try meth.